Sup, Little Bitches?

THE OG OP is back nigz, and blackah then evah.

But not really.
Quite the opposite, really, because I got another A (was that racist? yeah prob, but chill the cock out, I really am half nigra). This one was for political leadership.
When I'm feeling real bored-like, I'll up that and the Federalism paper too.
Check back in maybe 20 minutes for a new post, like with stories and shit.

Too drunk?

If it exists (I don't think so) I attained it - Beervana, if you will - on Friday. I say this simply because I know I had one hell of a great time, but I remember exactly NONE of it. How do I know I had a great time, you might ask? Well, simply put: photographic evidence. I've never seen a happier picture of myself. Don't let the vomit-caked glasses or disgusting scowl fool you, that's just the face I make when I'm having a good time.
But, since I feel a little guilty about not remembering anything exciting, I can tell you what i had to drink, because that's all I remember.
First, Roommate, [HockeyStar] and I were pre-gaming with Rum & Root Beer (there was no Coke), but not to any great extent. After we got to the party, Roommate and I lost Beer Pong, so I had two beers, and a free shot of vodka someone gave to me. I remember a kid from my floor giving me another shot, something called a Blue Beast (according to the bartender, it's "a little bit of everything and it's blue"). The next thing I remember was a sort of chugging contest (which I won hands-down) in which I downed - quite literally - a quarter of Jack Daniels. I think I lost at Beer Pong again after that, and that's about where I blacked out... I'm sure I drank more, but that's all that I remember.
So... no great blog for today... I swear that next time I'll drink less so I can remember great tales of my antics. PROMISE!

P.S. MASSIVE Lolz at those of you who actually thought I killed myself after reading my last post. Thanks for caring, though.
Dumbasses.

Words of wisdom from TheKing

He's been alluded to in at least one previous post, but TheKing is definitely the kind of friend that needs a post devoted entirely to him. So, here you go. Some choice snippets from the conversations of OP and TheKing. (Note: These are not verbatim, as i unfortunately did not have the forethought to record/save them. They're a loose generalization, just so you can get a basic idea.)

Optimus: "'Kay. See ya."
TheKing: "Peace. And say hi to all the girls in New York from TheKing. They'll know what you're talking about."
Optimus (sarcastically): "Alright."
TheKing: "Fuck you. Don't doubt me man, look what happened the last time New York fucked with an Afghan."

and

TheKing: "'Ight. I gotta go buy a new chain. It's gonna BLIND people."
Optimus: "Haha... you so black."
TheKing: "No, man. I aint black. My neck just likes to show off."

Optimus Prime visits more college parties

If ythey invented a number that was higher than infinity, thatwould be how many butts on which i copped a feel tnigh at party 1. also, there wasa russian kid, with whom i talked; he said "I know that any subject anoyone talks abouti cantellthe futriure of human kind from that discussion,. then ii opened his beer with my teeth, and he made everyobne toast to my health.

arty 2 i fetlsomeasses,drank a c osmo,a shot o vodka, and ag in and toonic,i'm fucked up.
I chilled with pobably the chi,lest niggazon campus. I'm Black now!!!

they call me Cali.
It'ssicel.


oh. in between parties, wesaw two girls streak buttass naked.
I toucched their breasts.