Fortuna's Wheel

I'm going to cut right to the chase here tonight because I'm not feeling too hot.

Essentially, my bosses'(BigPimpin) daughter (Jetsetter) wants my dick.

My only concern is that it just had to be this girl who wants to jump my fuckin' bones man. Thinking about Jetsetter just kinda makes me a little twitchy.
While she is decently attractive and a fun flirt with a nice body,
shes just a little to on the reserved side for me.

I met her for the first time this past Tuesday.
We hit it off pretty alright as per my usual charm but as I began to chat it up with her
it begins to dawn on me...

but "No,

no i refuse to believe it..."

"With a sister like hers how could she NOT be a fucking outrageously sick person?"

( the last time I saw her sister, she was of her and two of her friends next to an especially gigantor fucking tree which they had covered completely in beer bottles they had all drunken the night, if thats any indication of an undoubtedly correct impression of her sister).

Then as the subject of my bosses' (her mothers') love life slowly comes into action as it always seems to do, what me and the rest of the office found hilarious Jetsetter found slightly uncomfortable and not that funny.

I can understand that its her mom and all but at least have the good grace not to kill the party for the rest of u ya know?

Then later we were texting and she asked me my favorite thing to do was.

Me, already bored and realizing that the conversation wasn't going anywhere
I made the executive decision to reply jokingly "touching myself." both to entertain myself and to see how she would react.

Most average human beings would think that this was a joke(we've know each other long enough by this time to to tell if I'm being serious or not. For some people it take a little while.) would have either replied with either 1) witty rejoinder or 2) tell me how lame/dumb/retarded/immature that sounded. She on the other hand, slit her own throat and went with 3) "something came up i cant chill tomorrow."
If this had been jokingly off-handed i wouldn't have minded let me reassure you that in fact it definitely was not.

In fact I was pretty taken aback by the slight,
that i had to reaffirm what i had just witnessed is a testament to that.

"Uhhh... that was a joke." i replied.

"Good. Cause if it wasn't something REALLY would have come up."

Suddenly stunned and increasingly uninterested, time began to creep slower and slower as it does when ones mind begins to turn inward unto its self for the sanctuary that surely yourself can only give and it was then that i started to wonder,

...Why the fuck am i even trying?...

I began to become more aware of my surroundings once more.
Every time i have ever, or even at least gotten close to, getting any action, it was always when i least expected it,
always when i never wanted it,
never thinking about it.
always on the downward stroke of Fortuna's Wheel
but then it always did happen
picking me back up and spinning me upwards once again towards the heavens back into my rightful state of mind.

Life was coming back into focus.

Then in the span of two hours
my phone was touched by the hand of [InsertHigherPowerHere] and ten semi to completely nude pictures of various womens flickered across my cell phone screen that suddenly felt muchj much too small.

Time lurched forward

"Where do I find these girls? Jesus Motherloving Christ..."

I mused as time now began to accelerate, trying to catch up with the beating of my heart.

"How the fuck did I pull this off?"

My point?
I have a date (oh... Is that what we're calling it now?)
Friday at five o'clock.
We have the house to ourselves for two hours.
Unless something absolutely ridiculous comes along
(which usually always seems to happen due to my infamously terrible, terrible luck)
I will, surreptitiously and with rhythmically increasing velocity,
be giving out the hot dickings.

Edit:
I'm pretty sure that i was terribly terribly wrong about Jetsetter, but ehh first empressions... hahaha.