Oh boy. Where to begin...
I guess I'll start with the beginning:
I want to a party last night.
I was told almost immediately upon entering by "MrsClaus" (my friend, and a hostess) that her friend thought I was "really cute."
Shortly thereafter I am informed that TheFriend is not there. My feelings are hurt.
I quickly realize that there a large number of gay dudes.
I think I got felt up by a gay dude.
I got asked if I was gay. Queue drinking.
I am asked if I am gay again. Queue unhealthy binge-drink..
I tell one of the hosts of the party (a female) that she is a bitch, and as she becomes offended, I try (unsuccessfully) to convince her that it was a compliment
I leave the room pursued by the sounds of her shrieking.
I am asked if i am gay for the 5th or 6th time in the night. Queue attempted suicide by alcohol-poisoning.
The next thing I remember, TheRoommate is telling me I need to wake up, it is four, and that it smells like puke in our room.
If maybe I could just have one peaceful, successful night with a GODDAMNED WOMAN, I wouldn't do these things to myself.
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