Mander, Chiodo, Ash, Zabe, and I are leaving an after party of a film festival. We decide to go to the beach. As we approach these two girls pass us muttering about how they're going to kick Anthony's ass. Soon after that some sketchy old guy on his cell phone passes us and walks a few yards and stops.
A couple minutes later these two drunks come up to us, our conversation is as follows:
Black Guy: Have you guys seen two girls pass by here?
Me: Yeah, they said something about kicking some Anthony guy's ass.
Black Guy: Oh shit, oh shit! I'M Anthony!
Me: Well, she wants to kick your ass.
Anthony's Friend: Dude! She wants to lick your ass!
Mander: No, she wants to kick his ass.
Anthony's Friend looks at Mander for a full 5 seconds with a "I have no fucking idea what the hell you just said" look and proceeds to dance.
That's right, he just breaks it down, while staring at Mander. Now you must imagine the rest of the conversation with Mander in a staring contest with a dancing drunk.
Anthony: Ok ok, everyone listen (does the huddle up motion but to no avail) the reason they want to kick my ass is because you see that guy over there? (Points to sketchy guy on cell phone) He was, like, stalking them, so I go up to him and tell him that one is a lesbian and one has a boyfriend.
Me: (Humoring him) That sounds reasonable, you want to protect them.
Anthony: Yeah, but they got pissed at me and left. You see, we were supposed to take care of any trouble that went down, I'm strong and he's just fast and strong, but I'm just strong.
It's at this point Anthony's Friend stops dancing and punches Anthony in the side, and then holds his fist up to me, ready to prove how fast he is.
Logically I take a step back.
Anthony: Yo! Sir Dance-a-lot, that doesn't mean hit me!
Sir Dance-a-lot looks at him, with the same "I might as well be a deaf-retarded guy from how much I understood you" look, and I try to help him out by saying:
Me: You DO dance a lot...
He then WHIPS his head around to look at me, and the only look on his face now is one of sheer TERROR.
Sir Dance-A-Lot: You KNOW me?!
Mander: He means from what we've seen of you.
Me: Uhm, whatever, I mean there's a party over there with a bunch of people so I'm pretty sure your friends are safe.
Mander: Yeah, it's just a whole mess of old white people. They're even playing jazz.
Sir Dance-a-lot: I LOVE jazz! (proceeds to dance again)
Zabe (only source of estrogen in our group): Well, if I was your friends I would want you guys to come get me...
Anthony and Sir Dance-a-lot: Oh shit, you're right! See ya!
Me: Good luck!
Ash: That was fucking trippy as shit.
Chiodo: I thought we were going to get our asses kicked.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment