Optimus Prime is Apparently Obsessed with Murder... Cannot Recall What Ensues

Apparently, my subconscious that reveals itself only when the conscious is too inebriated to function is obsessed with murder. I don't think that this is much of a surprise (not to me at least) but it makes for... shall we say "entertaining" inter-personal interactions.
Take, for example, last night, when a game of beer pong that I was watching went into overtime. As most people know, you just set up a new rack of 3 cups and play from there. Well, that was not quite to my liking, and I had an alternate solution.

Optimus Prime: "Well there's only one way to settle this."
Everyone else: Vacant expressions and looks of "Duh... overtime."
Optimus prime (oblivious) "Murder fight!"

I'm still not 100% sure what a murder fight IS, per-se, but it certainly has a nice ring to it.
Needless to say, my relatively sound advice was overlooked. Not to be dissuaded, I found other ways to occupy myself with murder. For example, making simple rhyming couplets and putting them to music (in my head): "Punch, fight, kill, bite."
Apparently I also sent out an unknown quantity of text messages that said, simply: "Murder murder murder."
If and when the recipient chose to reply, I sent back a simple "Murder" and apparently that sufficed.

Anyways, thanks to the effects of anterograde amnesia, I can't remember much else, more specifically if I actually did satiate my apparent bloodlust.

What I do know is that I stole a fork and lost my jacket.

Oh, I guess I'll also take this time to introduce the "new" OPID.
Basically you (the reader) gets a new post from a new author everyday. Mondays are mine (obviously), Tuesday's Lazer's, Wednesday Codes, Thursday Mander, Friday The King, and Saturday Adolfo.
Sunday is (for now) a free day, where anyone - or possibly no one - will post. However, sometime in the future we plan on hosting Two Y Chromosomes on Sundays, the much anticipated, probably over-hyped OPID-affiliate web-comic, which is, by the way, authored by Lazer and illustrated by myself.
That's all for now, look forward to new stuff from Lazer tomorrow.

"Holy shit holyshit holy shit holy shit... TWO!!! TWO TWO TWO STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO TRACKS LEAKED AND I GOT THEM AND ITS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING!!!!"

(Transcribed from a text message to Lazer)

"Oh my god... I vastly underestimated how amazing these tracks would make me feel... seriously, you wont [sic] know what pleasure feels like til [sic] you blast these fuckers at 100 percent. My heart skipped not one but several dozen beats. In a row. Imagine the greatest orgasm you will ever have and mltiply [sic] it by three, except that it lasts at least 10 minutes unless you have the tracks on repeat [in which case it would last longer]. I honestly used to think that I loved Socialism and Camus, but those emotions are mere hiccups in comparison to how good this music makes me feel. I Wuld kill 100 thousand baby kittens to listen to these tracks if someone told me that I had to. I would sell my wife and children into slavery for these songs... SHIT... Now combine all of the above metaphors, and you get a small fraction of how these songs really make me feel..."

I couldn't put it more eloquently if I tried...