Whaaaa???

So this is a shitty post - be forewarned.
I've been in the Big Apple (shittiest nickname for the best place ever) for the last week, and while it's been great and full of lots of blog-worthy shit, the one thing lacking is the reliability of RIT labs. So, here it all is on the eve of my 8-hour-long train-ride back to Rochester - or as I have not-so-lovingly dubbed it: Cockchester (aren't I witty?)
Anyways, it's a bit of a hodgepodge of stuff that's been on my mind for the length of the week, and I'll do my best to get it out in an orderly and timely fashion... Alright, it's obviously too late for the latter, but you get the idea. Anyways:
1) FUCK Rochester and RIT. I never remember how shitty that brick-laden hell-hole is until I go somewhere better - namely anywhere with people I know and/or temperatures that average out to at least above 0 degrees at any given point.
That being said, I am going to turn over a new leaf and do something about it, instead of pursuing the traditional OP-method of whining and bitching like a bitch. Yeah, I'm going to to apply to transfer to NYU, USC, wherever Mander's going, and probably any other schools in NYC that aren't Monroe College or CUNY. (And about here is where you guys start a pool for how far into the application/transfer process I actually make it, because I am still a fucking lazy-ass slacker.)
2) I'm going to get me some new meds. I'm pretty sure my roommate "accidentally" tossed my old ones, but it might've been for the best, because they weren't so hot (and they didn't mix with the sauce too well). Also, I've self-diagnosed myself with anxiety, on top of my depression, so I'm hoping to get some Xanax or whatever the generic alternative is.
3) you may have heard my plans of drinking 3 ounces of vodka mixed in with my morning Hawaiian punch, but plans have changed. Instead, as soon as I get my tax return ($60 woohoo!) I will be buying (read: having my 21-year-old-friend "Rage" buy) as much Sparks as funds will allow. For those of you less-enlightened, Sparks is a malt-liqur energy drink that turns your tongue orange.
4)I saw John Krasinski and Rachel Dratch. Upright Citizens Brigade. Google it. Best night ever.
5) And last but not least, I'll close with a joke:
Q: Why did Optimus Prime cry when he heard about Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
A: Because he was devastated by the deaths of so many JAPS.

J.A.P. = Jewish-American Princess.
I'm not sure what it is, but something is wholly fascinating about this wondrous species of woman and I find them irresistible. I even find myself ignoring annoying and generally bitchy qualities in a particular fine specimen of Jap. It's weird, and I thought you all should know because I will probably end up marrying one.

And we'll share Xanax on our wedding night.

Autobots roll out.

Why I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people, ever.

I've noticed that my stories seem to have a common theme.
No, not being drunk.
The theme is more along the lines of "wow, Optimus really is good at fucking up a sure thing."

Let me explain briefly:

For those of you that live under a rock, July 24-29 was Comic Con. I was there. The most notable and quite possibly dumbest thing that I did while there was to be so fucking sexy.
Here's how it happened - I was with my friends (Lazer McSanchez, Mander, Ash, Zabe, Chiodo, The King, and Cuz) at the Pokemon booth playing the new pokemon game. I noticed, being as observant as I am, two girls who had walked by the booth several times, each time checking me out. Seriously, you could see their hearts flutter every time they walked past and i smiled at them. I told Lazer, with whom I had been playing the Pokemon game, although he seemed positive that they were checking out the Pokemon, not me. I didn't believe him.
After a not-too-long while, we are forced to stop playing because we're too cool or something, so we walk to the case where the Pokemon toys are displayed. I was in the middle of explaining the two girls to Mander and Cuz when one of them walked up to me. Here's what she said - VERBATIM:
"You're the most attractive person I've ever met, and I was wondering if you would marry me." Take that, Lazer.
But that's not the end of it. Because, apparently my response was enough to invoke a walking-away-from. I still don't get it, really... what part of "I get that a lot," is upsetting?? I was pretty much thanking her for the flattery! If she'd stuck around longer, I would've said yes, but... fuck that.
Anyways, yeah, I suck at talking to people, because it always turns into how I'm better than everyone at everything.
Somehow.