I been Lazy....But that's a Lie...

Ahhh, It's been too long...
Much too long. And I have a lot to say as well...
To lovers lost and lovers longing, may you find some peace.
Oh, and also, I really don't like Toni Morrison. Not a good writer...

Now then...Life's been kind of interesting lately...Colleges have been shouting stuff blindy and people left and right, saying yes to some, no to others. But I'm glad I got into my UCSC, 'cause hopefully it will give me a change I may be needing. Been crazy busy though.
It doesn't feel like busy anymore though. It just feels like usual...which is scary. As active as I am, I'd rather not keep this as the norm. It's just too much...you light a fire too big, and your fuel's gonna be gone in a bright blaze... I don't want that. Haven't experienced enough to want something like that to happen already...

Yet the days grow long and listless sometimes....I've sat up nearly a consectutive week now until the early morn, 1 and 2AM, waiting for my mind to stop yapping. Sometimes It is happy, sometimes it is sad, but it's always chattering...
Advice from a friend was to take some cold medicine, stop the chatter, and live with mind in peace. But I don't want that either...

Curse my romantic heart, but if I have a thought, I want it to flow through my, whether I spark fire or gleam ice, whether I am strung up in vast mortal coils or suspended elegantly within a vast empty light. I won't stuff that thought, not ever, regardless. I can't do that...I can't stifle something like that, because it is all I have...If you put a plug in your soul, it might not try to spew so often as it does...

Just like the heart...The heart doesn't like being contained...Heartache may hurt, but it is better to let it loose than to bottle it, creating some cruel and unusual self-detonating atomic weapon...I learned that most recently...

So, I say, in a vacuous gratuity of lethargy: Let your heart free, you soul to ferment and make merry wine...you'll be thankful for it later...

~L